I For One Am Tired of Being Afraid
I’m so tired of being afraid. I’m tired of waiting for the sky to fall, like Chicken Little. I’m tired of waking up anxious about war, shootings, weather patterns or the virus. I’m tired of it and want things to go back to Normal!
I Want Things to Go Back to Normal
I want things to be the way they were—where I knew how to be me and how to do me with regard to—well, just about everything and everyone. What, on Earth, needs to show up in order for me to stop being afraid and anxiety ridden, and know deep peace within. I can’t speak for you but, for me, this may be just another beautiful budding relationship with the unrelenting presence of growth opportunities. NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!!
We Are All In This Together
Everyone I know is feeling the trauma of war, shootings, natural disasters, pandemics and who knows what! None of us have immunity from the big fat be-with of being with what is occurring around the globe.
War, conflict and natural disasters, and the fear of them, is of course hugely destructive to what is priceless in our lives—both to our material accumulations and to our sense of peace and serenity. What do we have when everything is swept away? This is a really scary worry for so many of us. No one is immune! Not the good guys or the bad guys!!
I imagine that your survival hormones are kicking in right now. And in these times when there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do that appears to bring solace, aside from a bottle of wine, a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, or perhaps some cannabis, we are in the midst of not only a global transformation, but more importantly a personal transformation. This personal transformation is the catalyst for some deep questioning. Here’s the biggie:
How can I choose to be here, in my life, in a way that reflects something greater than my fears of annihilation? YIKES!
(Oh God, Rosie. Do You Have to Start with the Biggest Question of All?)
Truth is, to avoid being with this big question…
We blame it on the weather, the pandemic, the government. We complain and whine, that it is taking away peace, prosperity and the pursuit of happiness. We point the finger at people, places and things—how they are wrong and are to blame for the situation in the world, and more importantly for our unhappiness. By doing so we get to be right about them being wrong. Hooray!!! A win for us, a lose for them!
In the meantime, through this practice of avoiding the big question, we maintain our righteousness and our right to judge others for their wrongfulness. We maintain the right to attack them. And, they, being as right as we are, have the right to maintain the right to attack us. “Nobody is right if everybody’s wrong” (Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young).
Whatever and whenever we blame, point fingers, judge and make others wrong, we are, in essence, adversarial. We are in a state of conflict and anger, and we are in a state of warring—from which we attack in all our venomous righteousness. Whoopee!!!
It doesn’t matter the dispute—partner, children, plumber, or with world leaders. When we are on attack with our righteousness, no one wins, no one is heard, and no peace can be realized—within ourselves—first and foremost.
It is amazing how often we unwillingly own responsibility for our own personal peace and serenity. I know this is true for me. Whatever the dispute—with my children, with God, with friends, I have no doubt I am right, which makes the other person wrong—yes, even God! I like feeling this righteousness of being smarter and knowing better—yes, even with God! It gives me a sense of empowered control. I love it!!!
However, every single time I advocate for my rightness—which means it’s always the other guy’s fault—even God, never, ever do I feel peace and truth in my heart. That righteousness, at least for me, builds a fortress of invulnerability around me. No one can infiltrate my well-defended world. Whoopee!!
However, I have found myself very, very lonely in my righteous, well-defended world and in my need to control—everything!
You might believe that living within a well-defended fortress is better than actually owning your own thoughts, feelings and actions—the ones that interfere with peace. However, inevitably, each of us realize that fortress-building, attacking, making-the-other-person-wrong stuff, doesn’t work—if you want peace within. It doesn’t work if you want more delightful and open engagement with the people that matter to you. It doesn’t work if the loneliness that comes from living in righteousness is making you sick, tired and perhaps depressed. But…It depends on what it is you want!
Each of us inevitably will awaken to how we are being within our own lives. You will, I will, start to realize how we contribute to the lack of peace within ourselves, within our families, communities and the world. Inevitably, it becomes a no-brainer that inner peace is an inside job. And, in acknowledging that it’s an inside job, transformation begins!! It’s the beginning of experiencing directly the peace that is—within and all around us, everywhere and always. There is no other way!!!
This May Be As Good As It Gets
The circumstances around us may not change—Global warming, new strains of CoVid, government takeovers…. It sounds dire, and sometimes feels dire. And, there is so much we can do to bring about peace within ourselves and the world. Truly. All Is Not Lost!!
The Serenity Prayer, my favorite prayer in the whole world, encourages each of us to: Tap into the serenity within. It’s always there. In that space you can grow your capacity to accept what you cannot change. You can step into your courage to change the things you can, like turning off the news, and your electronic devices, go outside in nature, bring your attention to people, places and things that bring joy and wonder into your heart, talk with people who can support and empower you. And, realize the wisdom that is always within you to know the difference between what you can’t change and what you can. What have you got to lose?
A cool thing I’ve heard from quite a few different spiritual teachers is…that being happy, joyful, loving and kind changes the world. When you are happy your good vibes help shift the energy of the world. So have all the fun you are willing to have—only in service to bringing Global Warming to an end and Global Peace into fruition. What have you got to lose by trying?!!
You are not alone! We are all in this together!!