Category: Women and Aging

Who Wants a Boring Life?

It’s been about a month since I’ve written for Orcas Issues. I’m in the midst of preparing for my big adventure to Bali as well as putting together the program for my Retreat – Weaving Heaven and Earth. I’ll tell you, who ever said aging is boring didn’t get it right. The Aging – Who Me? group at the Senior Center has been running for a whole year now. Happy Birthday to us! We have been meeting two Tuesdays a month with pretty much the same 11 participants – with a few leaving and a few joining us. You’d think

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Cease Abandonment

  Quite often for me, the writing of one article stirs some inner work that reveals another bump in the road – an obstacle that, again, on one level seems like no big deal, yet on another stops the natural unfolding of one’s life path. For every one of us, by sitting with these obstacles, an epiphany arises naturally, along with the doubt of its truth and realness. The Epiphany Last Sunday, after my article, “Aging Into Shameless Perfection” was published in Orcas Issues, I thought about all of those times in my life where I’d felt shamed, forsaken, and

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Aging into Shameless Perfection

There were three times in my young life when my parents wanted to disown me. The first time, I was 10 years old and requested that I be allowed to leave Sacred Heart Catholic School to attend the public school. Initially they were appalled by my desire. My mom and dad went to our parish priest, Father Hurley, who threatened to excommunicate me. But in the end, my parents reluctantly allowed me and the rest of my younger siblings to attend the public school – it saved my dad a lot of money! The second time my parents wanted to

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Aging – a Never Ending Adventure in Deconstructing the Illusion of Reality

I’ve been living inside the illusion that what I am more than anything else is a mother. My identity is so inextricably tied to this role that it is as if I am wearing a latex suit of Donna Reed – the mother of all mothers on TV in the 60’s. I don’t know who I am without my identity as a mom. Due to circumstance and choices I made in my 20’s, I became an absentee parent. My children were very young at the time and came to have a long life with me participating infrequently. Though they called

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Doing Absolutely Nothing – When Less is More

At the end of each coaching session, I ask my clients: "What’s the big take away from our time together?" My client Dan responded with: "Well, my big take away for this evening is that I’m paying you to help me do nothing." We both laughed until we had tears in our eyes. The truth will do that to you sometimes. *** Sharlene is taking watercolor lessons. She shares that she has tried watercolors before and didn’t find it satisfying. She didn’t get the results she wanted then, and so decided to try again. I asked her why she was

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Dreams – Worry or Wonder?

Anxiety is a response to life without control. It also is the response to dreams and imaginings within which we lack control. Worrying is a form of dreaming, isn’t it? When we dream negative scenarios, adrenaline courses through our bodies, and the corticosteroids swirl and twirl about, and what we experience is stress and anxiousness. Our what-ifs and yes, buts constantly keep us orienting our lives sourced in negativity, sourced in not-enough, sourced in lack. Mostly the source of lack is "me," as in, each of us believing we lack degrees of competence, value, and worth, which sums up to

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Letting Go of the Belief that there is a Guarantee

I recently read an article about His Holiness the Dalai Lama, written by Stephan Talty. Stephan describes the life of this man: how he was taken away from his family early in his childhood, how he had to study and meditate, and live a life that he did not choose for himself. His country, Tibet, was taken over by China and he was forced to go into exile. Now in his 80’s, he has been given many awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize. Stephan says about the Dalai Lama: “He thinks like a man that is guaranteed nothing.” Reading this

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All Work and No Play-Who Me?

I’m a helper kind of person. It makes me happy to assist others in ways that makes them happy.In my forties, I sailed on a 93-ft schooner for two years. To run such a vessel it takes collaboration and team work. I was really good at that. If there was something to be done and I could do it, well, I did it! I was happy to help and it was fun to work together for the betterment of all. However, I realize that I continually put aside my own projects and tasks in support of other people’s projects; the

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The Potentiality of No Buts

I woke up this morning by Gracie tapping her little furry paw on my chest. She’s ready for the day to begin – I’m not. I feel into the sense of lacking – my orientation in life is that I’m always lacking something – what is it this morning? (Can you imagine waking up next to this person who is always lacking and anticipating a day created from lack – not fun, right?) And this is what inspired this writing. Cool, eh? I’m graced with the ability to cultivate greater degrees of awareness regarding how I’m choosing what I choose.

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The Anguish and Agony of Unrelenting Resistance

I have a client, Max, who in this moment finds himself in a life that is unmanageable. Regardless of where he is – at work, at home, in his truck driving between home and work – he is facing what feels like cataclysmic consequences. It is like he is attempting to walk through a field of land mines: whatever step he takes, regardless of the direction, it will inevitably result in a Ka-Boom! . . . . It is the end of pre-season for football. The athletes who have put their careers on the line to be chosen as one

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