Creating yourself as who you want to be can be anxiety provoking. You have no idea what your fullest potential looks like; it’s all unknown. Are you curious enough to endure anxious moments of not knowing for the sake of finding out? Are you willing to be fierce in your discipline, enough to practice 100% accountability, living into integrity, and aligning your actions with your highest truth? Can you be compassionate enough with yourself through this exploration, to allow yourself to fumble and be humbled by this amazing process of realizing your highest self, highest truth and highest potential? Can you be courageous enough to reach out for handholds, supports and resources that allow your strengths to be experienced by you?
Depending on how you set up your life and work agreements,”your responsibilities”you are accountable to bosses, spouses, community, the law, ministers and just about everyone. Underlying all of these relationships is the relationship you have with yourself. Being in right-relationship with yourself means being responsible to your values and the agreements regarding your dreams and your visions. It means being accountable to yourself first; however, I go out on a limb here to say that, it’s very likely that you do not hold yourself accountable enough. Enough? What is enough?
Enough is the degree to which you say what you mean and mean what you say; enough that you take the actions in alignment with your commitment, in order to achieve the outcome you want. Enough is all you need to get you by. It may feel less empowering to begin with, however it’s all you need to step to the edge of your crucible and dive in.
You know what it feels like when you are being accountable enough. The direct experience of being accountable often includes feeling honest, free, productive, creative, fun and fulfilled. The quality of not being accountable often includes: sticky, irritating and uncomfortable. For many of us, it makes us feel restless, irritable and discontent with ourselves, our reality, and it has us choose to choose a strategy that has us distract, avoid, ignore or deny the experience.
Many of us who read self-help books usually ignore and avoid engaging with the exercises that will actualize the desired results we seek. In fact, most of us don’t follow through with many intentions we set for ourselves. This is not to shame or point a finger at anyone; it’s just a fact.
I can honestly admit to you that, I want what I want, and I want it in the form that transforms me magically into the me that gets everything I desire. Therefore, I read self-help books with the hope that just the process of reading it will do the trick. It won’t. The reason it won’t is because I am not willing enough to take even one step in accordance with what I say I want. My level of conviction and commitment doesn’t generate the impetus to shift the way I think, act or be inside my skin. I’m not committed enough to exercise and discipline the muscles it takes to create that which I say I want. I just don’t want it enough.
Personally, during challenging times in my life, I experienced incredible suffering”enough that I followed through with the suggested practices and exercises found within particular books. My intentions to rid myself of pain and angst were strong enough that I pushed through my desire to avoid risk and vulnerability. Self-empowering exercises were imbedded in the process of attempting to alleviate my suffering, but it wasn’t my primary focus or intention. I just wanted the pain to go away. Over time though, as I followed through with the exercises and practices, the pain did go away and a different measure of self-empowerment became apparent. I was growing muscles I didn’t even know I had.
Most of us will spend our whole lives wishing and hoping, and never leave the comforts of our easy chair. Millions of armchair sailors dream of that adventurous passage to some exotic destination, but the majority of boat owners will never get their boats out of the harbor. It’s enough for most of them to face their day-to-day destinations.
It takes a great deal of courage to look every day in the face with the hope of it being better than yesterday. Very few of us are actually committed enough to make damn sure every day is exceptional. A fierce conviction is required of those who are invested in having a great life and empowering themselves to live their lives this way. The challenge is to continue to clear our thinking mind and our emotional bodies of the stuff that wants to return to the safe ground of, "It’s impossible. I can’t do this. It’s too hard!"
To choose to shift your commitment by even one degree is enough to allow movement towards your desired outcome. It’s enough to empower you to be with the anxiety and discomfort that comes with letting go and letting your higher wisdom provide support; the consequence being that the process unfolds effortlessly. This is where the spiritual rubber meets the 3-D road.