Over the last month, I’ve been struggling with the needs of the Inward Bound: Bootcamp for Self-Transformation. There are so many details of this project that need attention to ensure that it will be a great experience for you.
Part of the bootcamp experience is the Inward Bound Companion Workbook that I’m in the process of finishing. (It will be available later this year.) Under the guidance of Fesyk Marketing and my daughter Elissa, I’ve immersed myself in the process of making the workbook a great learning experience – one that is enjoyable, entertaining and inspiring, so that you feel inspired, to whatever degree, to be inward bound.
The whole point of this Bootcamp for Self-Transformation is to support you to know yourself, to trust yourself, and to empower you to step, move and flow to your own rhythm.
And, I discovered that I, too, am challenged to do that with myself. How do you like that?!
Here’s the short version of my to-do list: Promote, promote, promote! Get a VA. Get it done! Keep Going! You Got This!!!
These few sentences throw me into overwhelm, resistance, and into a state where I feel frozen. My body feels uncomfortable with symptoms of . . . I don’t know what! I struggle to breathe. I feel degrees of grief, fear, uncertainty. My head feels like it’s in the clouds, not knowing how to do what seems easy and effortless to others.
Am I sick? Am I dying?
No. I’m just in the midst of a transformative process.
Yet another one!!
When those who are experts tell me what I should do and how I should do it, initially I’m grateful to have the direction. However, quite often I notice the moment within which momentum stops. With this comes all of the signs and indicators that my internal system is not capable of processing the various directives. Something is amiss! This is a good thing to notice.
When the Momentum Stops
I don’t know about you, but for me, there is a lot of unpacking of this moment when the momentum stops. Me being one of those who has to process everything deeply, just because that is how I do me, means I have to be patient and compassionate with myself.
It takes the time it takes to allow the untrusting part of me to reveal herself in her own way and her own time. In essence, this is the whole point of Inward Bound: Bootcamp for Self-Transformation – to allow oneself the experience of knowing, and being quiet and present to what is within.
A very long story shortened . . . Inevitably, what I came to realize is that although I was given excellent direction, encouragement and focus, my direction and my way of doing things doesn’t resonate with what other people designed or laid out for me. I feel constrained and overwhelmed with the idea that there is a “righter” way to do things, and that I should do it the “righter” way.
THIS MAKES ME COME TO A SCREECHING HALT!!!
Too often, and for too much of my life, I’ve been paralyzed in moments like these when the momentum stops. And, over and over again, I have to be present to what appears to be an unknown force that is stopping me. Over and over again I emerge, realizing that what stopped the momentum was the insidious and yet so subtle belief that I must not know what I’m doing. I must not know how to do me. I must not know! Crazy, right?
As an intuitive creative individual, as we all are, when I sense something – some structure which I experience as limiting my creativity, I become paralyzed. The cloud of unknowing descends upon me and I’m stuck.
My process is to distinguish the interpretations I’ve made from the truth. I have to ask myself, “Am I seeing this accurately? Am I interpreting the directives in a way that currently feels like demands and dismissive, when what they truly are is highly valuable supportive suggestions? Is there another way to be with directives so that flow isn’t halted and that creativity returns?” The answer, of course, is YES!
I’m not needing to be right and make others wrong, because there isn’t any wrong or right. There is only Divine Flow that comes through each and everyone of us. When this flow is stifled or controlled, we may experience restless, irritable discontent and dis-ease. This is another good thing to notice. It keeps us on the up and up for where we dismiss our own knowing, our own truth, our own way of being.
I realized that again this morning, while working on the workbook. It came with the realization that there is a way for me to trust my knowing, trust the process, and trust that what wants to be in the workbook will find its way onto the pages. And, that this can be in alignment with what my super fabulous thinking partners are suggesting.
When I allowed this to be true for myself, the restless, irritable discontent dissipated, and I could breathe once again! At the same time, I experienced an opening, and the momentum returned.
We Need Thinking Partners!
We need experts to give us information, direction and support. We need bootcamps and challenges. We need supporters and influencers. And, we need to notice when that information, direction and support stops our momentum. This is the exact point when the transformative moment begins. And it will, over and over again.
I take my own words to heart. I see where I’m shutting down. I notice the thoughts and circumstances that trigger a shutdown. I go inward and notice the fears and beliefs that stop the momentum towards fulfillment. Inevitably, I emerge self-realized and self-transformed into the next fresh moment.
Inward Bound: Bootcamp for Self-Transformation is my journey too!
This journey begins on Monday, October 4th! Join me by subscribing to my YouTube channel, and sign up for the free pdf guide, and I’ll let you know when the companion workbook is available.
Questions? email me. I’m happy to support and empower you any way I can.
