Archives: 2009, 2008, …

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Welcome again!

7am on the Redeye ferry from Orcas to the mainland. Springtime makes my feet want to root themselves in the earth. It is not a time to go gallivanting around to more beautiful places “ they can’t be found. Birds, trees in bloom “ everything’s in bloom. After 6 months of winter’s darkness in the Pacific Northwest, Mother Nature births us all over again to be her eyes, her ears, her sensing bodies in service to absorbing the beauty and the light that arrives with this season.

I’m not an intrepid individual, really.

I leave the Island every month, somewhat troubled about whether I’ll return. While in my 40’s, I left Nova Scotia and my 10 year love affair with God’s Country of the East Coast. It broke my heart, for although I planned on possibly returning to my home on the edge of the sea, there was a sense of uncertainty that I’d have to face. As it turned out, aside from one visit back I’ve never returned.

Expanding the edges of my comfort zone to accept that uncertainty and faith are constant companions is the practice that will never end. And, empowering and inspiring people to expand their capacity to be with uncertainty and to step into the next adventure “ this too will never end.

Facing the frontier and the uncertainty that meet each of us is the adventure we’ve come here to have. Like Disneyland “ The Happiest Place on the Planet, we can create the same sense of fun and exploration with just a tweak of our attitudes and our way of being.
This months Newsletter addresses the uncertainty each of us face with every choice we make, every client we meet and each success we imagine.

In this month . . .
Uncertainty, Invulnerability and Survival Strategies in Empowering People Who Empower People, I’ll look at stepping out of our comfort zone in Growing Your Practice, share highlights of the Relationship Coaching & Organizational Coaching weekends in From the Classroom, and Revelations Along the Road from George Bernard Shaw.
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Empowering People Who Empower People

This section supports you as a coach. Simple pointers to empower you to be in alignment with your commitments – making a difference in people’s lives.

Uncertainty, Invulnerability and Survival Strategies

Every so often I have a run of issues that tie into one fundamental human impasse. I have one of those "Ah-HA!" moments, than share it with Todd and my trainees saying "This is THE fundamental human issue, that if we listen for and speak to it in transformational coaching will create effortless shifts. If we get this you’ll have this coaching thing down!" Here’s what’s seems to be the essential issue of late.

First; every single one of us stepping into a new day or a new situation faces uncertainty. For instance, with the economic shifts as they are, it facilitates the opportunity to notice how we be with uncertainty. Do we ignore, distract, deny, control, allow, be open to, intellectualize, emotionalize, spiritualize? There are all kinds of ways of being with those circumstances that are fraught with uncertainty. Rarely do we consider all of the possibilities and ramifications of those possibilities.

Second; uncertainty creates a sense of vulnerability. No one likes the feeling of being vulnerable. The quality of being vulnerable can feel tense, tight, anxious, squishy, weak, helpless, powerless, incapable, incompetent, immobilized. Who wants to experience these qualities of being?

Third; over years perhaps decades each of us has perfected our particular survival strategies, as best we can, to eliminate vulnerability and avoid uncertainty.

In walks your client: Anyone seeking coaching is wanting something that they can’t seem to make happen under their own volition. Something is in their way. Generally, what is in the way is how they are being with the uncertainty of having what they say they want; more to the point, it’s the fear of having to be with relinquishing old ways of being and doing, for new or different ways of being. It could be the uncertainty of just wanting what they want. There is a lot of vulnerability in allowing yourself to want. There is a large degree of uncertainty as to whether you’ll get what you want. . . . There is the uncertainty of success, uncertainty of how you will be with success, uncertainty of how you will be if you fail. It’s all unknown.

The question is how do you be with uncertainty?

How most of us be is invulnerable. We create strategies that support being invulnerable. We avoid and distract ourselves from feelings and thoughts that manifest the angst and anxiety that arise with uncertainty. We avoid that void that perhaps feels like death. We create strategies to survive those feelings “ keeping them at bay so as not to feel the element of danger. Or we create "what if’s" that actually bring up feelings of uncertainty “ "what if I make a mistake or fail?" Isn’t it fascinating that so many of us actually create scenarios in our heads that creates the uncertainty that we are wanting to avoid. Actually, this particular strategy keeps us stuck in possibilities that we can only imagine and stops us from stepping into the unknown or into uncertainty that we can’t imagine.

My client Ruth is courageously creating a new life for herself at sixty years old. She’s been married twice, has grown children and has had various careers. But what she realized in our last session is that throughout her life she has been avoiding the uncertainty of following her own path. For the sake of security and certainty she’s followed a path laid out by those who’ve gone before her.

We explored what kept her from taking the path less traveled and the concept of uncertainty came up. "What does uncertainty mean to you?" Ruth was able to trace back to a moment when she was three years old and holding her youngest brother. Being the oldest sibling and the only girl she had a thought in that instance that if she dropped this baby it would be a catastrophe. In that moment she sealed herself off from even the thought of what might happen and began to learn how to control circumstances in such a way as to avoid uncertainty and inevitable dangers may that arise “ especially in the mind of a three year old. She laughs in that moment as she reveals how she developed her controlling, perfectionistic personality. If uncertainty could potentially lead to catastrophe what strategies would any child develop?

You gotta know that most of us develop our relationships with the main concepts of humanity before we are six. We are trying to create a how-to manual to ensure we are worthy, valued and lovable. We decide what’s true and how to be in relation to what’s true. If what’s true for Ruth is that uncertainty will lead to catastrophe, she’s going to develop strategies for being and being with uncertainty that could only lead to certainty.

As a coach, if we can keep in mind that each of our clients is avoiding uncertainty and vulnerability, we can begin to distinguish specific strategies that may limit them in having what they say they want. We then empower them to be clear about the choices they make and to perhaps choose differently in service to their intended results. As a practice, they can begin to cultivate awareness around how they be with uncertainty and to exercise different muscles that will give them more flexibility in their choice-making ability.

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Growing Your Practice

This section is devoted to what’s growing your practicing, what’s killing it and what you may be doing to just letting it die.

Stepping Out of Our Comfort Zone

All of us are stepping out over the precipice of our comfort zone by taking on that next new client or that next new skill set or tool. New trainees are in anguish at having to somehow invite clients into their brand new practice. There is so much uncertainty in their professional career. They feel so vulnerable to rejection, and more devastatingly, they are vulnerable to their own self-talk. Self-criticism and self-loathing are strategies we implement to avoid being okay with being with uncertainty when we don’t know what the heck we are doing. Thank God we didn’t have to think about how we were supposed to get out of the womb. Very few of us would have made it into this world if left to our own creation. Coming into this world was probably the most difficult journey we’ve ever taken in this lifetime “ and we did it with total uncertainty that we’d survive. Interestingly enough, many of my clients and trainees who are developing their practice face the very same issues they faced in their birth process. This transformational coaching stuff is very profound!

I asked a student in my practicum course the other day when she had made a choice where there was complete certainty and knowing. The answer came swiftly; she said, "When I decided to attend ITP, I knew it was the right thing." I asked how she knew. She said, without being conscious of what she was saying, "I didn’t let my mind interfere with my decision." Wow! How fascinating! She was able to distinguish the process of not allowing her mind to interfere with the certainty of her knowing. How often do we let our minds turn our knowing into confusion, uncertain mush. What the heck is that about?

An essential foundation of the Transformational Coaching Training Program is to practice what we preach, walk our talk, be the change we wish to see (as best we can). By exploring our own relationship with uncertainty and vulnerability, by distinguishing our own survival mechanisms and strategies in relation to creating desires beyond the edges of what is certain, we increase our level of competence to be-with other’s situations and dilemmas where uncertainty is the pivotal context. In consciously stepping into cultivating your practice, using the coaching skills and tools on yourself, you will become far more effective, more confident and more inviting. You’ll be a magnet to clients. I have no doubt about that!

Here are some questions in service to growing your practice:
1) What are you certain about in relation to your work? What do you know?
2) What have you done, what actions have you taken in making this happen, e.g. gotten a masters or Ph.D. in supporting personal development, got certified as a coach, etc?
3) How much have you invested in your work as you know it, financially, physically, time, space?
4) When does the uncertainty show up? What thoughts precipitate the uncertainty?
5) How have you been being with uncertainty in the past? What have you done to avoid crossing the threshold or actually meeting that choice-point? How have you distracted yourself from this choice point? Perhaps with another certificate, another training, another graduate degree, another. . . . ?
6) What ways can you be with uncertainty now? What new ways can you be-with your thinking (your context) about potential failure, the potential mistakes, etc?
7) Ask yourself "What am I really committed to?"
8) Then ask "What am I willing to do? What’s the smallest incremental step I can take to get me closer to my work as I know it to be?"

It’s not about getting clients. It’s about practicing being in right-relationship with yourself in relation to uncertainty. Like I said, get this, and you will be a client magnet!!! Of this I have complete certainty!

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From the Classroom

Here’s what’s showing up these days in the Transformational Coaching Training Program

Since the last newsletter we’ve had the Relationship Coaching Weekend and the Organizational Coaching weekend. And the new schedule for next years training is now available. Remember that if you’d like to re-attend one or more of the sessions the fee is only half price! It’s a great way of getting re-energized and inspired.

The Relationship Coaching weekend was full! A number of trainees brought their spouses. Their presence contributed so much to the weekend. For those of you who know Ashley and Lance from Jackson Hole, they shared themselves and their relationship issues through a coaching session with me that revealed some of the most challenging aspects of being in committed relationship and also coaching relationships. They helped reveal to those observing the most intricate details that support the growth or the destruction of relationships.

This past weekend (Organizational Coaching) we fell in love with each other through Mark Nicolson’s amazing capacity to bring our humanity into the conversation. His mastery and comfort with affect and ritual created an enormous space for each individual to bring intimacy, vulnerability and trust to the foreground, whether it be within an organization or with individuals.

Mark reinforced many of the foundations of this training program by bringing clarity to the understanding that each organization requires the same level of listening as every individual within the organization. And, that the humanity of each member of an organization wants a safe space within which to be heard, acknowledged and appreciated. They want to experience being cared for. Imagine what organizations and corporations would be like if each individual got this level of listening!

COMING UP…
We’ve merged the Somatics and Emerging Issues into a four day retreat in the Santa Cruz Mountains the end of July. Todd and I are really excited to integrate so much body centered work into this long weekend. Breathwork, birthing issues as they relate to coaching and more!

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Contact Rosie if you are interested in being with us. rosie@dr-rosie.com

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Revelations Along the Road: writings from those of us on the path less traveled

“Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.”
~Lawrence of Arabia

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
~George Bernard Shaw

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Book Review:

It’s Summer “ Any Good Novels to Recommend?

I’d rather read a good novel than non-fiction anytime. But to recommend a good novel is like recommending a good BBQ joint in Texas. Everyone has a particular flavor that they appreciate and enjoy; genre’s, authors, storyline “ all impact on what is tasty and satisfying or not.

While on vacation in Hawaii, I read two novels. The first, I recognized the author. She’d written a couple of best sellers. I struggled through and barely finished it, only because “ well, I was curious enough to see if perhaps it would have a good, quality ending. It didn’t, and I was frustrated with myself for having to finish it. I realized that I have to really care about the characters if I’m going to spend my vacation with them. I’m glad in this case that I’m a fast reader.

I picked up the second book because I liked the cover. It was colorful, playful and had a tropical feel to it. It was an old book “ from the 90’s, but it was a new author to me. He had that Tom Robbins, John Irving crazy, absurd and imaginative perspective. The characters were perfect companions for a holiday, and with the vacation and the book complete “ I miss them.

Now, that’s the kind of novel I’m looking for!

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Here’s What’s Up With Heidi Spitzig

Since I began the coaching training program in the summer of ’08, my life has shifted in ways I never imagined possible. I recently finished my Masters at ITP through the Global Program: My life will never be the same. I can no longer withhold my passions, my joy and the work I love to do, which includes coaching, shamanism and wilderness adventures with adolescents. It was unforeseen circumstances that directed me to my work “ totally against my desire to play it safe. I’m so excited about what is unfolding and I have found it invaluable to walk this path with a coach who keeps my mind clear so I can actually see my way. Click on the link to see some of my work.

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April 2009

Welcome again!

You never know who or what you’ll find as the most effective coach imaginable. It’s good to know, though, that if you need a coach one will soon appear “ not necessarily in the expected form.

Todd and I arrived back to Orcas and our 26 ft. travel trailer, after two months away. We were met with the remains of the presence of mice. They had made a palace for themselves, and though I was at first upset about what they’d gotten into, I was fascinated with the impeccability of what they’d accomplished.

In the utensil drawers, I found ketchup and mayonnaise packets that had been opened with amazing precision, with every single drop consumed. Looking into the open compartment behind the bathtub, we found a Power Bar wrapper empty of its contents. But, where did they find the Bar and how could they have gotten it to its final resting place? In our investigation, we tracked upward to the small pantry of can goods and other things (Power Bars). We found more empty ketchup packs, mice poop and the unseen opening through which they traveled with the Bar.

After a couple of hours of clean up, closing off of entryways, and settling ourselves down in bed, I felt grateful for the rewards of living in such a small trailer, one being there aren’t many spaces for mice to hide.

Todd’s return to California left me to fend for myself against these small marauders. No, they didn’t just go away. There was more to do. I’m not one to kill anything, if possible, so, in alignment with “Do no harm,” I bought a couple of live traps, which work well, but not great. And, I found myself really resistant to facing the possibility of actually having to carry the closed mouse-containing trap far enough away and then releasing the mouse out into the wild. Over the next couple of nights I caught and released four mice, or more likely, the same two mice twice. As I carried the second mouse down the hill I noticed the first mouse on his way back up toward the trailer. Obviously I hadn’t carried him far enough. Sigh!

I could have called my neighbor Ron to rescue me from this task, but it was important for me to do this on my own, to exercise muscles of self-sufficiency. If I choose to continue this lifestyle on a rural island I’ve got to be able to do fairly mundane tasks without calling on the support of men. No use crying wolf when the wolf is no bigger than my thumb.

Thinking I’d gotten rid of the mice (again) and closed off their entrance (again) I returned to my writing, nestled in my own safe little nest. . . . Then the scratching (again) disturbed the peace I so desired. And, now, the invader was probably trapped inside because of my success in patching the hole from the outside. More sighing!

A week later, after putting in place a sonar contraption to repel mice as well as the live traps, prayer, psychic space-clearing and bargaining with the mouse, it was still with me. After too many sleepless nights, the dreadful day for both it and me arrived when my compassion for this critter had found its limits. It was time to get serious. Off I went to the Island Hardware Store with my head low with defeat. I killed the mouse.

Where the heck is the coaching in this?

This saga goes on and on about the measures I took in service to do no harm, but after hearing a very short story told to me by my mentor Paul Roy, I rethought my dilemma. Paul’s story was about a meditating monk and a cockroach. In the end, the last words said to this cockroach were “Better luck next time.”

I saw how my values to save the lives of mice, ants, spiders, all part of living in a natural setting, was truly important to me. However, I was putting that value over the value of the sanctity of my home, which they were invading and destroying. I realized I had to rethink the hierarchy of my priorities. I also saw the meticulousness of their ways and questioned where in my life do I need to bring in this level of meticulousness (Anyone writing newsletters, books or articles know how much detail and thoroughness goes into each piece of work.).

I also see that, metaphorically, these little critters are like thoughts, feelings and sensations that gnaw their way into my consciousness, distracting me from what I say I want to focus on. I empower others to notice invaders that intrude into the sanctity of their commitments. Perhaps these mice are teaching me to be more impeccable in my commitments, being more conscious about what I allow to encroach into my sacred space. How do I choose the priority of my daily tasks? What has me allow one thing “ emails, to trespass over another thing “ my committed writing time? What does it take to strengthen the boundary, sealing off entryways into the sanctuary of my promises?

And, perhaps like the cockroach, these little spirit beings in the form of mice have a better life ahead of them and who am I to deny them of that? I finally came to a place of relative peace, seeing that my heart is in the right place. Little mice: Thank you for the gifts you’ve brought to my life, and. . . . Better Luck Next Time. Amen!

Outside of mouse coaching, life on Orcas couldn’t be better! Rain or shine, exquisite beauty and peace abounds.

In this month . . .
We’ll distinguish what’s hard in Empowering People Who Empower People, explore being the invitation as a part of Growing Your Practice, share highlights of the Spiritual Coaching and Leadership coaching weekend in From the Classroom, & Rick Reddick shares his Revelations Along the Road.
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Empowering People Who Empower People

This section supports you as a coach. Simple pointers to empower you to be in alignment with your commitments – making a difference in people’s lives.

It’s Hard!

“It’s hard to change.” “It’s hard to be in these economic times.” “It’s hard to not eat cookies!” “It’s hard to. . . . (just fill in the blank).” What makes something hard?

Going undistinguished, the word hard stops us and our clients in our tracks. We feel the weight of impossibility, powerlessness and self-doubt riding on our shoulders. “It’s just plain hard, but I’ll keep trying; though burdened by life, I’ll just keep forging ahead, struggling every inch of the way. Sigh! Ever feel that way?

Let’s distinguish what happens when I say “IT’S HARD!!!” Generally there are dilemmas living within the context of hard. There are at least two conflicting commitments at play. There is what is wanted and there is what is unwanted. One side says “I want . . .” Another side says “No, I don’t want…” Or, “I want to change and at the same time I want to keep doing things exactly has I’ve been doing them.” The end result is that I have a dilemma. And what’s hard is that I think I have to choose one position for another. I’ve made the decision that I want to change and at the same time there is this other part of me that says “Nope, not going there!”

There is not enough fixing, healing, or convincing available that will solve dilemmas facing us when we want to make a change. We face challenges that are hard in that we present ourselves with opportunities to choose something different, and at the same time we don’t want to give up the security and the sense of invulnerability that we presently have. Again and again, we will face what’s “hard” until our commitment to change is greater than our commitment to safety. So that’s the first part; facing the dilemma in front of us. Here’s the second part. . . .

Most of you have heard me ask: “How do you be when things get hard? Or, What’s your normal response to things being hard?” Answering these questions myself, as an example, I’d say: Depending on the degree to which I’m committed to what I say I want, I’ll usually capitulate and let myself off the hook, giving myself that cookie, staying in bed an extra hour instead of getting up to write . . . the list goes on. I take the easy way out. The HARD is actually being with what surfaces when I don’t take the easy way out. Something usually emerges if I just stay with the less then easy that creates some level of discomfort. I don’t like to feel uncomfortable so I’d rather just have it the easy way and live with the regrets.

Taking on the practice of hearing and noticing the internal or the external speaking of “This is hard” begins the opportunity to shift the conversation from that to making what is implicit explicit. Something like. . . . “Sometimes I would rather not take on one more thing. I’d rather just be me, just the way I am!” By actually acknowledging what is really true for that part that doesn’t want to be with the discomfort I can then respond with: And, I’m going to do it anyway.

Noticing how you are being with It’s hard; noticing what you do when It’s hard, will give you information on how you choose what you choose when facing something hard. It allows deeper exploration and cultivates awareness. Have fun discovering!

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Growing Your Practice

This section is devoted to what’s growing your practicing, what’s killing it and what you may be doing to just letting it die.

Be the Invitation

We are all about the paradigm shifts. And in this new paradigm, we no longer think in terms of competition, marketing strategies and selling yourself. These terms are fast becoming bankrupt concepts that in the past had you think of yourself and your services as a commodity. We are beginning to realize that being a success with your business or practice is more about building relationships than it is about selling or marketing.

As an individual in the process of developing yourself and your skill set, consider being an invitation – inviting people into your life in such a way that they will want to get to know you and the work you are doing.

Developing a successful practice is an inside job. The more you internally cultivate the experience and knowing that you have something incredible to offer the more you effortlessly exude your essence-self. The more authentic and real you are, the more people will be attracted to you. They will approach you asking what it is you do. Be that invitation!

What I want to know is how do you want to let people know about you? What are ways that you enjoy engaging with people? What feels effortless to you in creating conversations about what you do? Writing, speaking, classes, workshops, & free demonstrations are just some of the ways to have people get curious and even fascinated with who you are and what you do; you get to decide what’s your way.

Here’s were things get “hard.” Though you’ve been training and practicing, building skills, getting your website and cards ready, you have to “do something” to connect with people in some way so they can find you. You have to actively take steps to engage with your potential audience. People won’t find you on the internet or be interested in having your card unless you’ve somehow been intriguing enough that they want to know more about you. The dilemma: I want clients but I don’t want to deal with rejection, or I don’t want to give up my free time, or I don’t want the responsibility of. . . . will create the thought “This is HARD!” Know that and decide again what you are committed to.

For me, being the invitation works so much better because I’m doing what I love in such a way that people are curious enough to contact me for work. That whole thing of “Do what you love and the money will come” really works. I still have to be-with potential rejection and the responsibility of being successful, but it’s worth it because I’m enjoying myself. I’m having fun and more and more people are curious. I totally encourage you to find your way of inviting people into your world.

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From the Classroom

Here’s what’s showing up these days in the Transformational Coaching Training Program

The Spiritual Coaching Weekend was as rich and depthy as it could be. It’s always a challenging session because we are heading into territory that seems so big. Spirituality is a huge context. We all have a lot of “stuff” around it. One challenging issue that surfaced was How do you be with “I don’t know”?

In spiritual coaching, both coach and client are confronted with a lot of “I don’t knows.” As the coach, when a client present issues that are unfamiliar for her or for him, how do you as a coach be with that? Secondly, how do you then be with them in supporting them in being with not knowing?

The second challenge of the weekend came with the deeper work of spiritual emergence. Just touching on the topic created some anxiety around the level of competence that may be required to support people who perhaps are experiencing a spiritual emergence. What came out of this weekend was an invitation for Todd Zimmerman and Carmella Granado to create a introductory weekend training in Coaching to Spiritual Emergence Processes. I’ll pass on the info for this in the next newsletter.

In the Leadership Coaching Weekend, Mitch Saunders created an extraordinary container. We were graced with the presence of a retired CEO, and an Office Manager of a new start up. Both shared challenges they had faced and the coaching process that led them to great outcomes. Mitch put all of us through the paces, giving us a good feel for the work he does with so many varied organizations.

It became clear for most of the trainees that coaching leaders is what we do already. All individuals who sit with us as clients are leaders in some form in their lives. We empower them to step more consciously into their leadership roles. And, this weekend gave each of us more tools with which to empower ourselves into stepping into being leadership coaches at the level we choose for ourselves.

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Relationship Coaching weekend is May 2-3 with Rosie and Todd.

We invite you to join us at ITP. We have only a couple more openings available. If you and your partner would both like to attend, the fee is half for your partner. Contact Rosie is you are interested in being with us. rosie@dr-rosie.com

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Revelations Along the Road: writings from those of us on the path less traveled

The Ten Year-Old Behind the Curtain is Fired

by Rick Reddick

My roots have grown through the walls of the little 2 inch peat pot in the greenhouse of awakening and creation where all of this started, and somehow ” without realizing it was happening ” I grew into a big ol’ friggin’ tree.

That little two inch square of earth which was once my whole world is still part of the soil that I am rooted in. The sapling is part of who I am, because I was him. But he is not who I am.

So many aspects of me have developed since I was him — the little guy who still hangs around behind the curtain, pretending to be the great Oz.

I have ended up being much more capable of being fully self-reliant than he ever thought possible.

Funny how self-reliance still seems like a dirty word and how choosing to be the architect of my life feels like playing god or taking credit for shit that isn’t mine to take credit for.

Part of me is timid in going out in search of adventure, so it has felt safe to take jobs for the sake of the security I have felt like I needed. Depletion of my nest egg (and the end of my job, which is happening in a few weeks) forces me to step reluctantly into self-reliance; backing myself into a corner where I have no choice but to create the life I want. There is a difference between being self-reliant just to survive and being self-reliant to step into creating the life I have been talking about wanting for over a decade. The difference is being conscious about it – knowing that I have a choice at every turn.

"Winning" the lottery would address security and monetary needs, but wouldn’t address the issue of self-reliance, because as long as I believe that I am a fuck-up, I will never be able to create the life I keep talking about. The tricky part about the fantasy of waiting around for some real or imagined windfall is: I start to believe that the "winnings" in the fantasy would make the life of my dreams not only possible, but effortless, irrespective of whether I’m deserving, capable, worthy, self-reliant or an absolute fuck-up. Then life turns into a sort of purgatory — a waiting room where I sit around longing for a windfall so I can start living the life of my dreams, completely blind to the fact that I already have everything I need right now.

How does it serve me to continue to be worried that stuff isn’t gonna be OK in the face of evidence that everything always has and always will work out more exquisitely than I could ever plan it?

IT HAS FORCED ME TO STAY SAFE AND NOT STRAY TOO FAR FROM THE KNOWN – TO ACCEPT WHATEVER MORSELS ARE GIVEN TO ME, NEVER EXPECTING THAT I COULD EVER CREATE A LIFE WORTH LIVING ALL BY MYSELF.

I can actually just step out into the adventure right now, trusting that I am getting the experience I need for the next leg of the journey.

I am now willing to risk whatever is at stake in order to develop greater self-reliance.

Rick is a Devout Heretic / Motorcycle Racer / TV Producer / Student / Teacher / Writer / Reader / Genius / Idiot / Charlatan / Messiah / Traveler / Hermit / Lover / Fighter / All-around badass who lives in Los Angeles (for now, at least) and is soon to become an incredible Transformational Coach.
Contact him at: vivaapple@mac.com

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Book Review:

Secrets of the Talking Jaguar

by Martin Prechtel

Published in 1998, this book brought me home. It was the most approachable story of shamanic practices that I’ve been exposed to. And though I haven’t any interest in learning shamanism I experienced a truth about our humanity that brings me to the heart of that work and the work of a transformational coach.

It’s such a valuable read in service to saving and resurrecting our humanity.

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Here’s What’s Up With Lori Pinnell, MA

www.innerworksconsulting.com
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click to view past newsletters
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March 2009

Empowering People Who Empower People

This section of the newsletter supports you as a coach. Simple pointers to empower you to be more in alignment with your commitments to make a difference in people’s lives.

To what Degree are you Committed?

Regardless of who your client is: an individual, a corporate executive, students on a spiritual path, there is one essential piece that if missing will lessen your capacity to empower people. I’ll put this in the form of a question: To what degree are you committed to empowering people? Put yourself along a line from 1 to 100 degrees. Where do you find yourself?

What obstacles keep you from being further along the path of success and mastery? The degree to which you are committed to empowering people is the degree to which you will be effecting change! Notice what might be interfering with a deeper level of commitment. Could there be another conflicting commitment, which may have your thoughts or emotions interfere with fully being present to the work that is yours to do. I strongly encourage all of us to continue engaging in personal and professional coaching to support the work we’ve come here to do.

There are a lot of us interested in support groups and telegroups are so easy to create. What do you think?
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Growing Your Practice

This section is devoted to what’s growing your practicing, what’s killing it and what you may be doing to just letting it die.

I’ll only be talking from personal experience here – sharing with you what has really worked for me. I’m not going to tell you something that isn’t in every marketing book on the bookshelves, so find a marketing book that works for you and stick with it.

One thing I’ve learned and have consistently practiced is to stay connected with people in my network, with past clients and with potential new clients.

Developing and maintaining authentic and heartfelt relationships is one of the KEYS to growing the work you do. Especially with emails, Twitter, Facebook and the like, we’ve got the technology to support connection and relationships. Your job is to implement these tools in service to what you say you want. It’s also your job to notice what obstacles you may be creating and practicing to support dis-empowering outcomes. You can bet if you’re creating obstacles your clients are creating obstacles too. Check in with yourself and perhaps a coach or support group to stay on course with your vision.

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From the Classroom

Here’s what’s showing up these days in the Transformational Coaching Training Program

With the coaching training program in it’s eighth year, there is a maturing process occurring. Information coming through has a depth and richness very different than our earlier years. As we move through each month’s training I’ll share some new discoveries.

February’s training was blessed with Eric Maisel – Creativity Coach. One highlight of the weekend for the trainees was his graceful way of normalizing a client’s worries, fears and anxiety. By doing so, Eric demonstrated how a client is free to move beyond their self-judgments of right, wrong, good and bad, and begin to take make more effective choices on behalf of their creative objective.

The second highlight was the process of meaning-making. This is such an important concept to reveal as each of us struggles with the meanings we assign to things in our lives – setting up contexts that limit our potentiality. By revealing our clients’ meaning making process we empower them to be at choice about the meaning and significance they assign to thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, actions and inaction. It’s a great addition to our Context Conversation.

Spiritual Coaching Weekend is March 7-8. We invite you to join us at ITP. We have only a couple more openings available. Contact Rosie is you are interested in being with us.
rosie@dr-rosie.com
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Revelations Along the Road: writings from those of us on the path less traveled

Day 1 Summary Paper by Denise Neumann-Fuhr

The experience of engaging in the coaching process during this first day of training has proven both exciting and challenging as my hopes and my fears regarding change, have surfaced with subtle stirrings. As I face the emerging prospect of something new in my life, the practices explored have touched the hidden parts of me that rest in quiet insecurity and test my resolve to move on from all that I have known. "Can I really do this?" I query. For mired in entrenched behavior is the need to fix, and to do for others, for that has been my role until now. But it is not enough and it is this disquietude that nudges me forward into foreign terrain. Removing the cloak of expert “ a mantle that never truly fit my circumstances – I long now to guide others to their own inner source and it is this intention that excites me and keeps me fed throughout this process.

Not surprising, the greatest challenge of this new undertaking arises precisely because of my fears. Feeling the need to exhibit expert knowledge in my role as nurse has mired me in feelings of inadequacy, for I have never felt truly grounded in that which I have practiced for so many years. And now, I must face that demon and wrestle free of its grasp, for it is the client that is expert now, and I am merely the guide. With this in mind, I begin to understand the value of intuitive sensing and relax into the process of deep listening and deep presencing. Listening “ it feels foreign amidst a career of unconscious doingness and yet, I recognize it clearly as it slips through my hands. As I embrace this dawning realization, I am startled and find myself humbled by my own limitations. I cannot remember the questions to ask. I want to share my insights. Instead, I wait, I falter, and I breathe in recognition of the learning that I am here to receive. I am no longer expert, and so, I let go and I surrender to the process of learning, and I immerse myself in the nurturing guidance that exists here. I am safe. I am on my path. I believe that all will unfold, beautifully.

As I begin to embody this new role and the meaning that it holds for me, I am comforted by the structure that is provided through the models presented. I am buoyed as well, by the gentle guidance received as I learn to tread gently and incrementally amidst the delicate unfolding of another’s inner world. I feel fortunate too, for the intimacy of this setting and for the marvelous women who share this deeply personal experience with me. For this too has been my journey “ to come to understand how to "be" relational.

I am deeply moved by what I am learning, and recognize with growing consciousness the self-denial that I have inflicted upon myself. In particular, I am disturbed by how challenged I am to see myself as essence. As I read the words that have been selected to describe me, my heart leaps for I long to be those things, but cannot yet see them for myself. I feel insecure and struggle to be that which I already am. It is a paradox. Perhaps as the days and weeks unfold, I will come to connect more fully with my essential nature. With this in mind, I feel more alerted to my way of being and sit amidst the words, and be.

As I end this day and prepare to enter into the exciting unknown of a new tomorrow, I embrace my own unfolding, and I acknowledge the path that stretches out before me. It is a journey of remembering my essential nature. It is a road back home and I am grateful to be walking it.

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Book Review:

Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior

by David R. Hawkins

Levels of consciousness are distinguished in such a way as to provide a valuable perspective to those of us who are transformational coaches. We see how clients may be enmeshed in their mental, emotional and spiritual process of development. It supports the suspension of judgment allowing us to see that there is no right, wrong, good or bad in relation to where an individual is in their use of survival strategies. It clarified for me the degree of wisdom required of us stewarding our clients towards a leap of faith. Compassion, openness and a greater capacity to be with each individual where they stand. Clarifying our clients level of consciousness allows us to realize the limited choice of tools available to them. We then are free to empower them to perhaps invent new ways of using the tools they already have as well as add new tools to their tool box. Without awareness of choice they will remain fearful and rooted in disempowering strategies.

Among other books written by Hawkins, Transcending the Levels of Consciousness is a great resource for more clarity of each level of consciousness. The Transformational Coaching Training Program at ITP utilizes many of Hawkins premises in our work. It’s very exciting to see how our work can actualize higher levels of consciousness within our trainees and their clients.

Nicole Mercolino on Power vs Force:

“When reading through the levels of human consciousness and the meanings associated with each level, it allowed a new way of looking at the world. I became aware of my own judgments and my despair around how people live, their inability to be at peace with themselves. I wasn’t able to get, up until now, that other people’s peace or lack of peace meant something about me. . . . Why couldn’t people see what I see?

This book helped me get down off my soapbox, along with all my rantings and judgments about how we (the people) should live. . . . This awareness enabled me to accept the possibility that there was nothing for me to do but to be open, accepting and compassionate with people regardless of their present level of consciousness. That to force someone to see love, or even be love the way I think is the correct way, is an act of cruelty in and of itself. Well. . . S__T!”

~Nicole Mercolino is a certified Transformational Coach in Petaluma, CA

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