I Don’t Want to Be a Ghost Walking Among the Living Dead

Thank you to those of you who reached out wishing me well regarding my malaise. 
I know a lot about self-awakening—my own, and supporting others to self-awaken too! My
personal life’s mission is to experience more joy and playful delight. I want to live in the
experience of thriving. In service to my mission to thrive, I’m growing my capacity to notice my
self, when I am in the doldrums or malaise, and what I need to do to move myself out of that
state of being, and into a place at least void of the doldrums.

One of my intentions for writing these columns is to bring awareness to the fact that, being
human, at least for me, is about living the experience of, in essence, the Isness of Is. The Isness
of Is, occurs in the Now! Living in the now is very cool. It’s where authentic joy and delight, and
loving kindness exists—nowhere else will it exist for you or me!!! However it takes a lot of
training to focus on the now. A lot!!!

We’ve heard this a bunch of times, “live in the now.” However, very few of us actually live in
the now. Most of us are regurgitating stories from the past, or making up stories about the
future. For me, I’m training myself to notice when I’m rehashing some story from my past that
makes me feel sad, mad or bad. And, I’m training myself to notice when I’m thinking about—as
in, imagining the future, which also can bring about sad, mad and bad. More and more, when I
catch myself in one of these stories I tell myself, “You’ve just made that up—there’s no truth in
that!” And, for the most part, this works!! It’s like shooing a fly away! And persistence helps!

A Story from the Past

There was one day, in particular, I’d like to share with you. This happened maybe six years ago.
My personal and spiritual work has been going on for decades. You already know I do a lot of
personal exploration and some excavation—letting go and healing stuff so that I have more
capacity for joy. This particular morning, I was standing in the doorway of my home, looking out
over the beauty of Turtleback Mountain. In that moment I experienced a quality of dread—that
was the word that most closely described what I was felt. It was the very first time that I
recognized this as a lifelong vibe. It’s the water I’ve been swimming in for as long as I can
remember. I shook my head in momentary despair. “I’ve worked so hard on myself for all of
these decades, and this energy of dread is still with me. I must be missing something!

In that moment, part of me said “WHAT’S THE POINT!? Give up! Go eat something comforting!”
Another part of me was glad that I became aware. In a sense, I woke up to the ongoing
experience of dread that I never knew was there. With this realization, I could begin to ask
questions that could uncover the source of that dread, and bring healing to that. Over time, the
dread, the malaise, the dimming of my light has diminished. Thriving became more accessible. 

There is an assumption that, if I read about self-growth, or listen to podcasts, or go to retreats, I
won’t actually have to have the direct experience of growing—I’ll just transform! I can bypass
the discomfort, the self-doubt, the self-reflection work, and the abysmal truth that I imagine is
there, and I’ve been avoiding, forever! Yeah. No!

Because we exist in our human suits, because we have personalities, because we live in
families, cultures, countries, religions, genders and races, in our attempt to define who we are,
it’s no wonder that we don’t actually want to be in the direct experience of our own unique
Isness. As one of my clients put it, we’d rather be ghosts walking among the living dead. Fun,

Mostly it’s not fun—80% of the people you ask will tell you they aren’t having much fun in their
lives. And, they certainly aren’t thriving.

So I’m working on thriving. That means I’m training myself to notice my moods and
attitudes—when they are positive and when they are not! I’m not going to truly thrive if I allow
myself to ignore those patterns of dread and malaise. 

Yes, it’s a lot of work—I can hear you saying that loud and clear. However, to live in
unacknowledged discomfort—physical, mentally and emotionally, is a hell of a lot more work.
I’m finding that letting go of that stuff actually makes life better, easier and enjoyable. At times,
it’s actually fun!

Oh, yeah, in alignment with this thought, I want to share with you that I have a new podcast
series out, with my friend Carol Grieve’, called Beyond Food Integrity Thriving Like a Guru. You
can find it here: https://foodintegritynow.org/beyond-food-integrity/

I will conclude by saying that, every person I meet is truly extraordinary, brilliant, and scared to
be themselves—in their brilliant extraordinariness. I so want you and them to directly
experience your amazing, brilliant extraordinariness. What a gift you’d be giving yourself and to
all the people you touch. Don’t you think that would be fun?!!!

I would love to hear your comments, questions and feedback. 
If you’d like more of Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com. You’ll find
blogs, books, videos, podcasts, paintings and more. And her books are available through
Darvill’s. She is available as a thinking partner and coach.

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