Dilemmas Archives - Page 3 of 4 - The Paradigm Shifts

Doing Absolutely Nothing – When Less is More

At the end of each coaching session, I ask my clients: "What’s the big take away from our time together?" My client Dan responded with: "Well, my big take away for this evening is that I’m paying you to help me do nothing." We both laughed until we had tears in our eyes. The truth will do that to you sometimes. *** Sharlene is taking watercolor lessons. She shares that she has tried watercolors before and didn’t find it satisfying. She didn’t get the results she wanted then, and so decided to try again. I asked her why she was

The Everyday Gurus Among Us

John is a Guru – not that he would recognize himself as one. He is in his mid 80’s, retired, and lives with his wife Eleanor. When looking at John, you wouldn’t notice anything special about him, other than he is very tall, and when he smiles he lights up the room. He doesn’t talk the spiritual talk, nor would he consider himself to be walking a path of spirituality. Yet, I find that when I’m around John, I’m relaxed, peaceful, and I’m not inclined to do anything other than just sit in his presence. Hendrick is another Guru. There

Aging – What’s the Point?

When I think about the millions of people who are in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s, I wonder what brings fulfillment to their lives. As they disengage from the external world, by choice or by circumstance, most will question reality, much like Scarlett, Martin and Thomas do. “When I was young,” started Scarlett, who is a beautiful, vivacious 80 year old, “everything mattered: What I looked like, what I wore, who I dated, where I lived, how many children I had, where they went to school. Everything mattered! I enjoyed waking up with a sense of purpose. Now I

Victims of Life’s Circumstances – Or Not!

Francis, a beautiful, creative woman and long time Island resident, came to my work place the other day. “I’ve been reading your articles on aging and dying in Orcas Issues, and you know,” she said with a wee bit of disdain in her voice, “aging isn’t all fun and light – sometimes there’s anger and hate. I’ve been dealing with hearing loss for a long time. My memory is deteriorating and I’m afraid that I’m losing my mind. I’m living with a lot of pain. I’m alone more often than not, and I’m angry about all of this. Sometimes I

Game Changers – They Happen When Least Expected

Sam is a 73 year old retired fellow, living in a two bedroom apartment in Houston. He is a veteran from the Viet Nam era, had a decent enough life with a couple of kids, an ex-wife, and a girlfriend of 25 years. Sam has been happy in his routines – stopping in at his local bank where he has coffee with some cronies. He visits with neighbors and participates in his community, as he has done for many decades. A longtime client of mine, James, in his mid 40’s, lives in Denver. He has four children, a wife he

Aging and Change

“Your Life is a Testimony to Change.” Rasha The more years I have under my belt the more I realize the degree to which life is more about change than it is about no-change. That change occurs in the realms of physical, mental, and emotional development; social and political structures; career and finances; relationships with family and community; and last but not least, relationships with ourselves and our spirituality. How could one possibly interpret life as stable with all of the shifts that occur in so many aspects of one’s reality?! In the past, I believed if I earned enough

If I Weren’t Me

A favorite part of my job as a Life Coach is that I get to witness human beings take tiny filaments of beliefs and turn them into huge knots of limitations. They, like most of us, aren’t able to hear themselves speak, nor see how their thoughts create the world around them. As their thinking partner, I hear what they themselves can’t hear, and I share with them what I’m hearing so they can make sense of the tangled knots of beliefs that lie within. After which they are at choice to choose differently. The other most favorite part of

Ready for Take Off

This piece is dedicated to Emily Reed who passed away this week. We are grateful, Emily, for the gifts of your gracious presence on our dear Island. Sit Back and Relax Some people get on a plane and head out to their destination, effortlessly surrendering control to their pilots. Others are in the throes of panic – terrified of being out of control. Anxiety and fear of the unknown ride within them until they touch down at their destination. They are hyper-vigilant for that moment when the plane blows up or crashes. They await the moment of impact when powerless,

Ageism Among The Aged

Ageism Among the Aged – That’s Whacky! I know plenty of individuals in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s who don’t want to hang around with “old people.” These old people may be the same age, yet, they are seen as different, because they are seen as old. Isn’t that fascinating. When is Old Old, and what is Old, anyway? Orcas Island Senior Lunch. The room is a sea of white-haired people, sitting around tables, apparently enjoying the company of others. Quite often a piano player is providing beautiful and joyful music. To some, this is very inviting! Depending on which

80 Percent Effective

Michael, a COO of a growing startup in Austin, Texas, is a great guy and a brilliant thinker. He’s been hired by a particular company to bring about a turnaround in management and inevitably the bottom line. The company has experienced a significant loss in revenue over the past few months and it’s now Michael’s job to turn things around. If he fails, the company will fold “ end of story. Michael is about to take the company in a direction that will transform its vision, culture and business structure. There’s no doubt he has what it takes to create

Tag: Dilemmas