Humaness Archives - The Paradigm Shifts

Aging – Who Me?

My 68-year-old client, Miranda, was profoundly impacted by the results of her cataract surgery. Without the need for glasses, Miranda was confronted by the fact that she could no longer hide that she is aging. For decades, Miranda’s eyeglasses were a fashion statement. She has all sorts of shapes and colors. She loved the attention she received because of her personal style in eyewear! Until her cataract surgery she hadn’t realized the degree to which she was hiding behind her glasses. Without them she felt vulnerable, ashamed, old and on the decline into decrepitude. Holy Cow!! On our

Dilemmas of Being a Vulnerable Human: Safe or Sublime?

My intention for this blog is: 1. To clarify that vulnerability isn’t something to be afraid of. It is a state of being that is, essentially the threshold to growing and expanding ourselves into our fullest potential, or retreating and retracting into, what can feel like stagnating strategies. 2. To help you realize that in the midst of experiencing vulnerability, we are in a pickle, a dilemma—We want to have what we want, and at the same time we want to remain secure and safe from harm and danger—even when it’s only in our imagination. 3. To show you that

Stop Trying To Like Yourself

Peace on Earth begins by listening to those parts within ourselves that we ignore, avoid and judge as unworthy of respect. Peace on Earth begins with noticing when we are lying to ourselves. No one likes to be lied to. And, yet, the truth is, we lie to ourselves more than anyone else lies to us. Isn’t that fascinating? My client, Matt, is 46, almost 400 lbs, and unhappy at work, home and in his heart. He’s a fascinating guy, in that, he is brilliant, intellectually, and in his heart, he has the wisdom of a sage. He just

I Want It to Be Easy

For me, self-exploration is like Gaming. Whether it’s PacMan, Mario, or the highly technical games that so many people play these days, there is an intention to get from one level to the next—up-leveling themselves over and over again. Each level of the Game of Self-Exploration requires a level of proficiency, exploration beyond what was required in the previous level. The degree to which one is inspired, committed and disciplined, to move from one level to the next, is the degree to which one is willing to, quite often, die to make progress. It’s fascinating! I’m in the

There’s So Much More to Being Than Meets the Eye

My friend Daisy, who worked in hospice for many years, shared with me that most people make the greatest spiritual advancement in the last few weeks of their lives. I find that fascinating! Why wait? The last time I was sick, I had not been sick for years prior, so the discomfort of it all was pretty annoying. I wasn’t sleeping and my nose was running constantly. I was realizing that that was a good time to practice something akin to meditation, but it’s not. When I think of meditation, I think of a practice that takes me

Do You Pray, Meditate or Quiet Your Mind? Me Either

I have a deep knowing—without a shadow of a doubt, that every single individual on the planet is working towards reclaiming and residing in, what is innate and naturally present—inner peace. Within this inherent peace resides compassion for ourselves and others. It is where one’s capacity to fully embrace joy and love is ignited. At the same time, each of us struggles to remain in the reality we are immersed in, where our feet are planted, and our fears of safety, security and stability are well entrenched. Rarely do we find ourselves knowing inner peace. In this is an

In Sickness and In Health: Illness as a Rite of Passage

My client, Martha, emailed me before our session yesterday, to say she was in the hospital. She had had an asthma attack so severe that her husband took her to the emergency room. She wondered if I’d be okay if we could do our session while she was in the hospital. A lot was coming up with her and she wanted to talk about it sooner, rather than later. Of course, I was absolutely fine with that. I had no doubt, especially in conversation with Martha, some wonderful revelations would present themselves. Sitting in the hospital, Martha experienced a lot

Before Enlightenment—Cook Meals, Do Laundry. After Enlightenment—Cook Meals, Do Laundry. (A Modern Take on an Old Zen Proverb)

My client, Badrah, a Pakistani woman living with her husband and two teenage sons in Texas, has traveled through the depths of depression to exhilarating moments of enlightenment. She is not committed to enlightenment, only to relieving the suffering of depression and anxiety. Badrah began working with me almost two years ago, not only to find answers to her suffering but also to train with me to be a transformational coach. Weaving training with personal work allows her to experience self-empowerment where only self-deprecation lived for so long. Much like for Badrah, most people who suffer from depression

We’re All in This Together

Every one of us is most likely feeling the trauma of natural disasters, whether it is fire, flooding, high winds, or pandemic. None of us have immunity to being with what is occurring around the globe. Natural disasters, and the fear of them, are hugely destructive of what is priceless in your life–both the material things and your sense of peace and serenity. What do you have when everything is swept away? Survival hormones kick in. Fight, Flight, Freeze. And in these current times, there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do. So those hormones aren’t very helpful. We project blame

Narcissist-Who Me?

Narcissism seems to be a theme that is showing up a lot in conversations with people I work with and with people I know. Whenever a theme shows up in such frequency, I know to suspect that I’ve got some personal exploring to do regarding that theme. So, I began to do some discovering! And, in doing so, I decided it might be fun to do a whole month of my Thursday YouTube Lives around the theme of Narcissism. Doesn’t that sound like fun?! They will start Thursday, Nov. 4th, at 3:30pm PST. Here’s the link. Now, I’m not an

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